My story on why I’m choosing to start over
My name is Chanelle and I am turning 30 years old in May 2022. I had one of my toughest years last year and because of that, I decided that I needed to change my life.
Last year I went through a break-up, lost family members due to covid, felt isolated from a strong community due to social restrictions and experienced continuous disappointment each day as I read the news. I kept WAITING for something good to happen to me.
I was waiting around for something external to make me feel better. The key word being “waiting.” I didn’t proactively do anything. I thought that I could just continue living the way I was and that good things would happen.
The problem with that approach is that I wasn’t living life in the healthiest way. There were many days where I was sad and lonely. And instead of trying to put myself out there, try a new hobby, meditate, go explore nature or do anything somewhat productive, I would bury myself under the covers and binge watch Netflix.
It was comforting to immerse myself into a world where everything worked out – main characters always ended up with the love of their life, got promoted to their dream jobs, found a community of best friends and overcame any challenge thrust on them.
I turned to TV because I didn’t want to face my own reality.
I felt insecure about almost everything in my life:
- Job: Where did I see my career going? What was my dream job?
- Love: Would I ever find someone to share a life with? (according to my family and the rest of the world, my biological clock was ticking and I should be stressed)
- Health: Was I taking care of my body?
- Aging: How can I avoid aging? What skincare and beauty gurus do I need to follow?
- Community: What does community even look like when you can’t physically be together?
- Money: Was I saving enough money? How do you plan for a future when you have no idea what your future looks like?
- Family: Would I feel less connected to my family because they were all together in Southern California while I lived 6 hours away? Was I a disappointing daughter for not having a family of my own yet?
There are many questions that I logically knew were completely irrational. For example, I know that aging is a part of life and something that we should all embrace. I also logically know that my parents love me unconditionally and don’t love me less for not being a wife/mother.
But those rational thoughts didn’t take away from the fact that those questions/thoughts came up and made me feel insecure. For a long time, I felt like I was too “old” to make any big difference in my life. For a long time, I believed that “you couldn’t teach an old dog new tricks” and that I was set in my ways.
How do you change your life at 30 years old when so many aspects of your life are already set in place?
Which brings me to my “ah-ha” moment. There came a day when I finally realized that I was the problem – my mindset, my own inner critic, my attachment to playing the “victim” and my decision to blame the world for my unhappiness. From that moment forward, I chose to take responsibility for my life and to start taking action to improve it.
How I’m starting over
Here is a short (and very summarized) list of my focus areas for the next 6 months:
- Take full responsibility for my life and happiness
- Look inward to see how I can nurture and heal past wounds
- Be conscious of my thoughts (work towards thinking more positively)
- Take time to relax and recharge
- Set boundaries
- Be more open-minded and curious
- Appreciate the good in my life (even the tiniest of it)
- Incorporate more fun into my routine
- Let go of perfectionism and people pleasing tendencies
- Prioritize important relationships
- Stop comparing
So now what?
If you’re like me and wanting to change your life, then don’t wait another moment! Join me today.
Don’t let excuses like “I’m too old” or “I wouldn’t even know where to start” or “I’ve tried and nothing seems to make a difference!” stop you from taking your first step towards the life you want this year.
Personally, I’ve wanted to start a blog for YEARS but I always found myself thinking “but why would anyone care about what I have to say? I’m a nobody.” But guess what? That isn’t true. Everyone has a gift and everyone has a unique story.
Starting over is scary. You don’t know what’s ahead of you and you don’t know whether your plans are going to work. But isn’t that the exciting part of it too? What if it DOES work? What if it DOES change your life for the better? You’ll never know until you try.
I’m moving to New York in 2 months. Am I terrified? Yes. I don’t have too many close friends in the city and 90% of my life has been spent on the west coast. All of my close friends live in California and my core family (my parents and my brother) live near Los Angeles.
I wouldn’t proactively choose to be far away from the people I care most deeply about, but I know that moving to New York is what I need right now. I need a fresh start. I want to have an adventure this year! I want to put myself outside of my comfort zone and be someone who is willing to take risks.
So my question to you is will you join me?